What We Heard From Our Clients This Week

This week a client asked, “Do I have to choose between getting along with others – and – making them better?”  With the increasing use of culture surveys, 360-feedback, and other leadership “evaluation tools,” an executive I was talking with this week feels he has to make a choice between “getting along”(e.g., being liked) and “building competence” in his team through giving them hard-hitting growth oriented feedback. He is feeling “bridled” and afraid to give critique, lest he get negative feedback on his people skills!  Not surprisingly, we feel helping people grow actually leads to increased ratings of job satisfaction in team members, higher engagement in work, and much lower turnover risk.  So how can he go about getting both high ratings for his ability to “get along with others” AND “build the competence of the team?”  The first step is to get “permission to influence” others!  When in the position to give critique, begin by listening carefully for the intentions of the other person, exploring how they chose their strategy and made the decisions they did in their work products, and checking to see if they were able to self-critique the quality and impact of their work.  We like to say, “people have a greater need to be understood than agreed with.”  And when they feel understood, they usually feel respected.  And when they feel respected, they tend to be much more open to critique!  Then learn to give feedback that describes the current behavior you see, its impact on others or the situation, and offer possible alternatives.  In this way, people should feel understood and respected – and be able to improve their skills!  You win on both fronts, and are probably liked, too!