What We Heard From Our Clients This Week

A weekly blog recounting what we hear from our time with clients each week.

Small Change for Big Impact

Leadership Worth Following, LLC (LWF) - Friday, February 04, 2011
This week we met with an executive coaching client to discuss the concept of “approachability”.  He had received feedback that he sometimes came across as intimidating and difficult to approach.  Not surprisingly, this wasn’t the first time he had received this feedback. When first encountering him, most people would perceive him as relatively formal, serious, and not very friendly.  But when you have the benefit of getting to know him, you realize he is really quite likeable. We asked him if the feedback bothered him and if he thought people’s perception were hindering his effectiveness in any way.  After a moment of reflection, he shared that the perceptions did bother him, because his intention was not to appear unapproachable or unfriendly.  Further, he worried that as a result of the perceptions, people might be hesitant to engage him on important and/or relevant issues. So, the question became, “What to do?” Initially, we landed on trying some new simple non-verbal behaviors (he was a quiet-type, after all!) that might make a positive difference with others.  Specifically we discussed being very intentional in using non-verbal behaviors such as smiling, walking more slowly, looking at people directly and acknowledging them as he passed by them in the hall, and not checking the Blackberry as he made his way to and from meetings.  In the next meeting, we will talk about whether incorporating these simple non-verbal behaviors is having the desired impact.  What do you think? Is it possible that simple behavioral changes like these can positively influence perceptions of approachability and friendliness?  What other suggestions do you have for a leader who is naturally on the quiet and serious side, and perceived as not very friendly or approachable?
Comments
Adam commented on 04-Feb-2011 01:31 PM
Developing connections outside the office, whether it be lunch or a casual get togethers, can provide a valuable way for all to let their guard down a bit. But it takes time and consistency. Getting out of the office and proactively connecting outside the 'chair' may help as well.
Sara Canaday commented on 01-Mar-2011 07:08 PM
Two ideas to reverse the tag of of "unfriendly" and "unapproachable":
-Open up and let your co-workers see your softer side. Showing a little emotion and vulnerability can make you more relatable, approachable, and likable.
-Show a genuine interest in your colleagues – their unique talents, their hobbies and their families. Be willing to share some of your own personal facts, and look for things you have in common as a way to build stronger connections.

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